Nowadays we hear of child abuse, domestic abuse, ADHD, and many other mental, emotional and physical issues that shape a person's future.
Ever wonder what was happening in our era? Statistically you have to figure it was all around us.
I was oblivious. A few years out of high school I heard a neighborhood "kid" committed suicide. Made me wonder if anyone noticed his pain.
Do you all remember being suspicious that something was going on with a friend's situation?
Gail
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
17 comments:
I'd sure like to think that none of that was happening then, but I doubt it. I suppose it depends on what you mean by abuse.
I know a lot fewer parents hit their kids now, but as misguided as I think spanking kids is, I don't think we could have called it abuse.
I agree that spanking wasn't abuse. Didn't Dr Spock allow spanking back then?
What are the chances our class dodged serious abuse or domestic abuse in the home? Maybe the kids having those experiences fell off the radar screen (no after school activities or in school activities) and we didn't even notice.
I think of this in the context of my own self-absorption at the time and wonder if we had all been more perceptive would someone else's life been improved?
Gail
google it, please.
it was hush hushed, much like the gay stuff...and pedophiles.
those that suffered thought they had to, or were at fault somehow.
abuse has been around for centuries.
depends on what the society calls normal.....
i knew a 4 year old child near me. i babysat one cold winter day and never took my coat off in that home. it was a well to do home. my mom knew the family. she said the father there was a dictator. he would not allow the home to be warmed for them to live in. so...that little girl got pneumonia and died. i never understood why my mom [or even the doctors??] did not intervene.
hush hush
i got molested by a circuit county judge who was also an upstanding catholic and our neighbor. i was preteen...he was doing it to his own granddaughter.
he took me to a rural pond one day that belonged to a pair of bachelors[he did not like their way of living]...and i knew he was going to hurt me. i told him to take me out of there and i ran all the way home.
i never told anyone until very recently. i did not think anyone would believe me.
that judge died a few years after that.
nan.
i should not have posted here...
oh well.
carry on.
nan.......
I remember twice dodging the potential abuse -- by strangers.
Trace Carscadden and I were walking along Gallows Rd and two odd looking men asked if we could help them "push their car" down this dirt road....I'm there saying "sure I'll help", and Trace pulled me back and we ran off. I was around 12 years old at the time.
As a teenager I was walking around some under-construction homes in our subdivision. Just wandering, the workers were gone.
But then I saw a man on the dirt street looking at me as I walked around an open-framed house and I quickly walked out. I looked back and he had gone into the basement of that house.
These were seriously close calls, yet I didn't tell anyone......
Scary.
Gail
Nan --
I will remove your post if you want.
Nan, in my view, you are speaking up now for the little girl you were all those years ago - the girl who did not have the resources you do now, the one who was too young to do anything other than what she did. And, she (YOU!) were damned brave to tell that man to get you out of there!
Both of the examples you shared make it obvious that abuse of many kinds existed even in the "jewel" of a progressive high school we attended. Your phrase, "depends on what the society calls normal," is absolutely true - a practice considered acceptable in one culture is sometimes taboo in another one.
I'm proud of you for sharing the Truth, Nan.
~ Dena
There is nothing worse than a person who would hurt a child.
One of my closest friends had two of his children molested by a close family friend who was helping them as a babysitter.
The guy had molested other kids, including his 2-year-old daughter. He was arrested, tried and sent to prison.
A couple of years later he was killed in prison. When my friend's son heard about it, he broke down crying because he said he had thought he would have to kill him if he ever got out of jail.
I think we all know that this has been going on for centuries. The difference now is the news and the criminal justice system is making us more aware. For those of us who were not abused, it is just by the grace of god, as the saying goes. For those of us who were, it should not be shameful. Shame on those who were sick enough to prey upon all the innocents.
And I think it is not shameful to talk about it, but more therapeutic.
a year ago, i served on a jury panel. we had a case, where this man had sex with 4 children under the age of 11; 2 of them were his own kids. the judge reaffirmed my faith in justice. however, he had a pool of 80 of us to give this man a 'fair' jury trial. the judge asked if any of us had been molested and wished to be excused from this particular trial. i was the second one to raise my hand. several more followed. in short, a mistrial was called since, the judge could not find enough of us for a jury. after that, it was written up in the local paper & several more victims came forward. it was indeed very theraputic for me and many others !
maybe, that is why i did post it again here.
it amazes me, that abuse can happen in all types of settings.
anyway, i can recall it now & be detached from it.
a good thing !
thanks,
nan.
my post doesn't make sense.
dang it.
what i was trying to say, is, being on the jury panel brought up that very old memory.
it also showed the judge and our community, just how common sexual abuse as a minor, is.
so.....
after the mistrial, this community had a workshop led by one of our policeman who had been abused by his dad.
the man who was on trial, eventually got one with the next jury panel.
after only 1 day of children testifying on video, the man plea bargained and got 5 consecutive life sentences.
this community is also near where the recent shawn hornbeck case happened.
so....
just a big can of worms for me !
and really only a small slice of what i think about !!!!!
tonight, i went to a banguet for the cross country teams at the high school. i am so happy that these kids get to really know each other ! times are indeed better.
luv, nan.
i have closure !
thanksgiving, my brother emailed me a interview done with the son of the judge, that lived near my family in the 60s.
it gives me perspective on just who that man thought he was.
he was responsible for starting the county police force & would often be the first on the scene of crimes.
oh my.
so......
my dad and i, had a nice chat about the past and living on burke lake road.
and it is all good.
now, on to the future.
and keeping our kids protected.
luv, nan.
http://braddockheritage.org/resources/item/93/
it is a long[14 pages when i printed it out] interview and interesting in describing life when dirt roads were common.
kewl.
Nan,
Great that you and your dad had a chance to talk. I hope that son of a bitch is rotting in hell.
Gail
thanks, gail[everyone]
may the judge r.i.p.
i only hope he didn't harm anyone else before he died in '66.
such a long time ago....
luv, nan.
today, my area newspaper is starting a series about child sex abuse.
'shattering the silence'.
http://www.dailyjournalonline.com/
in reading other victim survivors...i find that i now understand mySelf better.
child abuse sets up a lifelong reaction to how you have relationships.
nan.
I'm one of those kids who was beaten as a kid. There were two significant incidents where my mom had me on the floor and was banging my head on the floor. The last time I was 17. That was the first time my dad finally pulled her off of me. I'm 54 now and still am afraid of my 75 year old mom! At least I didn't pass that legacy on to my own child!
My sisters and I were victim of child abuse, but we didn't know it at the time. We thought all the kids on our block had to go inside when their dad got home and got beaten because my mother said one of us was bad. If one bad, we all were. I feel we were unwanted children but because we were not born a boy, which my father wished for. My mother was not innocent in this either, she played the good wife and mother to public, but didn't care for us as a mother does now days. My sisters were bullwhiped, yes with a bull whip, punched and giving black eyes or bloody lips. Myself, I ws too chichen I wished to disapper, not knowing it meant dead. The 80's were very suicidual. I would like to write a book after my father dies, he would be mad at me, and I still fear him. But yes, I would like to bring older children like myself to light of stuff they went through.
Post a Comment